perpetually changing...

Many times in my life I have thought or felt that I "needed" to be someone other than who I was at the time; or "needed" to be thinking / doing something else. Something "better", more beneficial, more creative, smarter, etc. I have put myself on rigid schedules and chastised myself for being unable to follow them. I have berated myself for feeling certain ways about things, for oversleeping, for eating a pint of ice cream or lounging on the couch all day.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What the hell for?!

I am happy to be in a position of recognition that I can be all things and do all things, and the only thing that really matters is being true to myself and my current nature. How refreshing! I have been pondering the question "what is my true nature" lately, and have discovered that my true nature is constantly changing. Funny thing about that word, constantly, I just looked it up in Webster's dictionary. It means "to stand firm, be consistent; marked by firm steadfast resolution or faithfulness; continually occurring or recurring". Synonymous words are continually, faithfully, incessantly, perpetually, etc.... which all mean basically the same thing.

So basically the one thing I can be sure of is that my "true nature", and my mind; are consistently, faithfully, with steadfast resolution, continually CHANGING!!! Under such circumstances why bother trying to hold firmly to beliefs, rigid schedules, anything really?! Don't get me wrong, I do find it incredibly helpful and important to (a) have beliefs and (b) have a schedule or routine, yet if they change on occasion or all the time why should I beat myself up over it?

I am enjoying this. So much less pressure to not have to "BE" anything other than someone just "BE-ING" open to the moment. The next time you are presented with an opportunity to do something that you may want to say yes to; that may be fun, different, outside the box for you... and feel like you shouldn't do it because you have to work / go to bed early / are too old / fill in the blank... try throwing caution to the wind and just do it! Get yourself out of the box that you put yourself in.

Hugs n kisses,
Lisa