Stagnant Air

I decided today that I am going to cut my hair. Chop it all off. I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately, and today had the vision of scissors making their way across the perimeter of my hair and it all falling to the ground in one dramatic "swoop". As I had this vision I felt a sense of freedom, relief of some sort, and I knew without a doubt that it's time to let the hair go.

Let it go. I used to have really short hair. Really short. Some of you may remember this, if we've known each other for any length of time. I had this short hair for many years. Then I decided to grow it out, and it went through different stages of shortness. I could get it to a certain point, and then like it where it was and just keep it there for awhile. It has really taken me years to grow my hair out to the length that it is now. Well, in all fairness it was about this long or longer a little more than a year ago and then I cut 6 inches off. Right before starting massage school, May 08, there went 6 inches and I had a cute little bob cut. Those 6 inches were removed for a reason, that was the last of the previously colored and therefore damaged hair. All that was left was 100% natural, healthy hair.

I happen to think my hair is beautiful. Soft, with multiple colors that blend well, straight with just a touch of wave. I can really do alot with it if I so chose... but I don't. All I ever do is pull it back. Especially in this oppressive heat!

So I went through this long process, taking many years, of growing my hair out. And I like it. So why cut it off? Don't I remember how much upkeep was involved with short hair? And let's not forget how long it took and what a pain in the you-know-what it was growing it out. Because my goal was to have long hair. Okay. Goal met. Now what?

Time to change goals! I recognize that my head is hot. That all I do is pull my hair back. That I am envious of other's cute short hairstyles. That I am bored with my hair... and have been for awhile! Yet why have I not cut it yet? Because it was a goal for such a long period of time. Because it was alot of hard work to get here. Wouldn't cutting it all off just be throwing it all away?

Any of this sound familiar? How many of us stay in dead end jobs or relationships, or in any old familiar pattern for that matter; for those exact reasons? How do you throw away something that you worked so hard to achieve?

Well I must raise the question... how do you NOT?! If you just aren't happy / stimulated / nourished / etc. with / by......... whatever it is. Toss it out, say good-bye, let it go. Set a new goal.

It's really not as hard as it seems, though to most it may seem terrifying. Change. We can be so resistant to change. The dull and possibly miserable can seem immensely safer than the unknown. Yet boundless opportunities and experiences are awaiting you if only you create the space for them to grace you.

I love change. At times, maybe too much. But that's another blog, yet to be written.
As much as I love change, I too get caught up in patterns and forget how easy it is to let go of things. Things that may be causing me grief, or at least to feel bored and lacking in the creativity department.

Right now is one of those times. I am just feeling stuck. And I know I am not alone. It's like an eidemic. It's something in the air. The heat is on and the humidity is high, the air is heavy and stagnant. I feel I am breathing in this heavyness and stagnation, and as I exhale I share it with others. I feel bombarded by negativity. So much fear is in our daily lives right now, it's in our very cells and it's eating us alive.

It's time to change. Change it all. We have the power to create a new reality for ourselves and each other. For society as a whole. But first we have to remember how to create! Through change! It can start with something as simple as a haircut. If I am not afraid to cut my hair, what else may I not be afraid to do? Maybe if I look different, I may also be able to look at things differently. Who knows.

Big change starts with small change. It may be extremely intimidating to consider ending a relationship that you've been in, maybe for years. But alot less intimidating, I imagine, to clean your car for the first time this year. But after cleaning your car you may want to change the route that you drive to work each day. Then start going to the gym. Then begin eating healthier. Then maybe that stale relationship is next on the chopping block...

I need to add here that not every change will bring about pleasure and happiness. Change can bring unhappiness, anger, and every other emotion under the sun. But I can promise you that whatever emotion or outcome it brings, it will be different than what you had before the change. I can also tell you that regardless of the outcome there is a definite sense of empowerment that comes with taking the steps towards change. Change is going to come, regardless. Nothing lasts forever or remains the same. Nothing can be held onto for any length of time. So how much more gratifying is it when you have made the decision to make the change in your life instead of just accepting what is to come? Only one way to find out!

Mahatma Gandhi said "be the change you want to see in the world". Well the change I want to see is just plain change. I'll start with my hair... we'll see where that takes me next!

I'd love to hear about what you are changing! Change may be big or small, change may have already happened; no guidelines here. Just leave a note in the comments section. Thanks!

perpetually changing...

Many times in my life I have thought or felt that I "needed" to be someone other than who I was at the time; or "needed" to be thinking / doing something else. Something "better", more beneficial, more creative, smarter, etc. I have put myself on rigid schedules and chastised myself for being unable to follow them. I have berated myself for feeling certain ways about things, for oversleeping, for eating a pint of ice cream or lounging on the couch all day.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What the hell for?!

I am happy to be in a position of recognition that I can be all things and do all things, and the only thing that really matters is being true to myself and my current nature. How refreshing! I have been pondering the question "what is my true nature" lately, and have discovered that my true nature is constantly changing. Funny thing about that word, constantly, I just looked it up in Webster's dictionary. It means "to stand firm, be consistent; marked by firm steadfast resolution or faithfulness; continually occurring or recurring". Synonymous words are continually, faithfully, incessantly, perpetually, etc.... which all mean basically the same thing.

So basically the one thing I can be sure of is that my "true nature", and my mind; are consistently, faithfully, with steadfast resolution, continually CHANGING!!! Under such circumstances why bother trying to hold firmly to beliefs, rigid schedules, anything really?! Don't get me wrong, I do find it incredibly helpful and important to (a) have beliefs and (b) have a schedule or routine, yet if they change on occasion or all the time why should I beat myself up over it?

I am enjoying this. So much less pressure to not have to "BE" anything other than someone just "BE-ING" open to the moment. The next time you are presented with an opportunity to do something that you may want to say yes to; that may be fun, different, outside the box for you... and feel like you shouldn't do it because you have to work / go to bed early / are too old / fill in the blank... try throwing caution to the wind and just do it! Get yourself out of the box that you put yourself in.

Hugs n kisses,
Lisa